LIFE # DREAM

WAITING FOR

2010-10-12T10:52:00.001-07:00

What am I waiting for
Is too tired of wondering
Perhaps the answer is around
I hope it will just appear in sight
At the moment when it comes
Tears is crawling
While time is flashing away

The empty is still empty
People all around, I met
Loneliness never hidden, I feel
Is just a hallucination
Too straight the thinking
There's a bend anyway
Not worth to, maybe

In the deep deep world
Unable to walk in
Stay at the shallow
From where it belong to
Change to the way, worth to
When complication become simple
Everything is fine anyway

最后一次

2010-09-22T01:25:00.000-07:00

朋友说～其实那东西还在
开启了心坎深处的那道墙
原来不曾放弃的假装忽略，还以为没什么
欺骗的脑袋欺骗不了真实
所谓的算了吧只是一种掩饰的安慰
说没什么大不了，说得潇洒
都只是这么说

很想诚实最后的一次
累了所谓的等待
忘了那懒散的脚步，那是不同的步伐
一步一步向前；一步一步后退
距离越来越远，越来越清晰
多的事，你不知道的事

手里的巧克力，很沉重
以为两手可以掌控不同的重量
或许轻，或许重
至少手心里的温暖不会消失
原来那是遥远的一场梦
口中的甜，心里的痛
是多么的极端
只好站在看不见的倒影处
说什么，最后一次

AIRPLANES

2010-08-12T19:18:00.000-07:00

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
wish right now
wish right now

Let's pretend everything is just a dream
Pretend that in the past
Pretend nothing ever happen
Again and again
No speech is recognized
Waving smile means zero

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
wish right now
wish right now

HOT N COOL

2010-08-06T01:36:00.000-07:00

You do see, you do feel
The cold air blowing through my face
It's getting colder
I wish there's a blanket, but
Always get back an empty hand

I am asking, though
Whispering alone
Playing guessing game, like a gamble
Rolling numbers
It wasn't really fun
Am I holding fire
Or freezing ice in hand
Throw away, or else it's gonna burn

Sunrise early in the morning
Shinning my back
It's the sticky warm
Will it loosing it's paste
Hold firmly in between, each finger line
It's too cool, it's too hot
Without a warn
I'm getting sick~

Hot N cool
There's only one way street
Randomly grab, I am looking for fate
Tracking the shadow, through the door
But, no ways for eyes to eyes
Empty the space
It's the only last time to
Get back...

醒了吗

2010-07-22T00:24:00.000-07:00

再一次呼唤
唤醒睡梦中迷惘的人群
看清前方
别再跟着人群走了
你要去的地方不是他想要到达的

再一次提醒
别被诱惑撞昏了脑袋
听听心里的话
或许那就是指南
想想未来那是不是你想要的

再一次深思
这是唯一的第二次
重复了又重复别再踏进那无底洞
短暂的那不是永远
守住当初的无所谓吧

NO EYES

2010-06-25T11:34:00.000-07:00

Sleepy worms were crawling, but
It wasn't easy to close my eyes
I saw the stars, flying
Even without my permission
Prayed, three two one
Drowning in dreams
Counted, one two three
It was dark, still
Rather that I have no eyes
Then guess the sight
I thought it doesn't matter anymore, but
I know
It means a lot
Say goodnight, a very goodnight

IT'S NOT TRUE

2010-06-24T08:02:00.000-07:00

Don't know how to say
It's not true
Never ever guess it
The answer is...

Don't know how to say
The words at the edges
Listen carefully or else
Nobody can go through

Even wish to but
Gonna have a stop
Don't tell what you want from me
Limitations, always there...

WORLD CUP FEVER

2010-06-17T07:19:00.000-07:00

The world is crazy now, with FIFA World Cup. Every single night, get shocked by the screamed--GOAL!!!

Oops, the fever is quite serious. Guess last until final. Surprises followed by surprises. Perhaps there's time that somebody is caught cold.

Chasing at MAMAK. Looking around, there are only guys. Well, none a single female there. Is it weird?

Football is guys game. What about football for girls? World is full of miracle. Who knows...

One day then~

心跳

2010-06-03T03:26:00.000-07:00

扑通扑通
是感觉在作崇
就那么一眼紧闭双眼
睁开真的很难
不规律的心跳是否
在提醒
时间催促在无人的街道

心跳听不到
瞬间转变了消失了
黯淡的曙光
真的需要或许就在
模糊的迷雾中
茫然地追逐知道吗
是愚拙的

空白

2010-05-08T08:59:00.000-07:00

当一切变成了空白，真的是空白吗？

最近的生活只能以空白来形容，没有任何目标，没有任何抱负，或许该想想到底要的是什么。无所事事的日子，脑袋总在幻想着种种。之前逃避的一些烦恼，都是忙碌的借口，是否应该面对了？时间多了，空白的思绪，好似有无限的想像空间。烦恼是自己制造的，总是说你想太多咯。

毫无头绪，决定后，总是后悔当初应该有更好的解决方案。承认，我不会解决难题。不了了之，只是害怕伤害。别太在意，因为我总是错了。当一切就绪后，没有挽救的余地了。做了说了放了，期盼我想的我做的我说的，都能得到回复。切，无法坦然地表达那全部。原谅，有限的思路没法确切地理解。接受事实需要勇气，我，缺乏勇气。

是否，听到了迷惘的声音在叙述，回音在游荡。控制的欲望弱了，或许就跟着走吧，已经懒得再争辩。争取，坚持原则真的很累；放弃，我不想。我以为是永恒，原来所谓的永恒都是短暂的。时间吞噬历史，变了，回不来，心境也应该随着迁移。

不喜欢空白的时候。空白的时刻，堆积在角落的烦恼都会陆陆续续地袭击空空荡荡的脑海。厌倦了这样的感觉，但总不能放着不管。寻找零碎的点子，塞满那脑子，也许就暂时放空吧~

RANDOM THOUGHTS

2010-04-30T20:22:00.000-07:00

Unconsciously
Two years, gone with nothing
Even flash back from the first time
When I start my new life
The memories
Playing seek and hide with me
I dig from every corner of my parts
I could tell
Pieces and pieces
I restrict myself

Undoubtedly
I am growing up
From where I am fall
The scars reminding
Be patience with life
The touch reminding
There's always kindly and sincerity
Lean me a shoulder
Holding the warm hand
I felt it from heart

The world is always bright, though
There are darkness hiding behind
Different way
You got the different view
The destiny is future, I know
I am approaching
The barriers are awaiting, I know
Conquer with no fears
Even I am not strong enough

If I could
Telling you the story of mine
I shall
Step over the fences

HOLD MY HAND, IT'S LOST

2010-04-29T07:35:00.000-07:00

Someday, Demon hold my hand
When the heart, pushing apart
As you got to know
It's a circulation
Here, no way to escape
Just the only path
If I could told
Back to myself, from where I lost

Someday, the God in heaven
Bonding two hearts, pulling towards
With zero distance
Flying soul, around
Just the repulsion, if
Learning to adhere
To the moment, I am lost

Before and after
There's always an answer
To the future troubles
Infinity, like black holes
Just too weak to say
I am strong enough, though
The future is now
Like a sealing pot
Burning with no sign

I thought, I am moving but
It's static
Stand still, with flowing air
I thought, the separation
No words, but frequency
Expression coating the truth
At least, for one more moment
Hold my hand, it's lost~

SEARCHING

2010-04-24T04:08:00.001-07:00

Look around
Searching for the one
If and only if you are there

I found the trace
Dreaming for a while
No step to move on

Minutes and minutes
Ticking away
Still, beating the same

Look back for the moment
Disappear from sight
Finally, lost it...

忘不了的污点

2010-04-16T23:57:00.000-07:00

这是一封给妳的信

最近一直想起当时的冲动
无理的指责
是我，扭曲了那关怀
回想起来
真的不晓得是哪来的怒气
把那应该变成了不应该

还记得那个《你明白吗》的信息吗？
总觉得是裂痕的开始
内疚。不安
是否吓到了？伤了妳的心?
传出去的刹那间
好像没有后悔的余地了
我错了~

其实妳没错
是我。不能原谅自己的态度
不应该这样的
没有勇气向妳说~对不起~
只是不想钩起那痛痛的回忆
不要太在意

她告诉了我
说有什么好好说。别语气太重
她是对的
我没顾虑那脆弱的感受
太自私了
或许已经淡了
污点毕竟存在。忘不了

只是想好好地对妳说
若还不迟
~对不起~

静。平淡。无色无味

2010-04-06T04:15:00.000-07:00

味蕾在纠缠着
脑袋分泌荷尔蒙
良久良久
什么改变了
无界限的疑问符号
淹没了脑浆的每一寸

倾听心跳
上升或下降
或许搞错了
琢磨那出奇的平静
机械的功能失效了
还是心境转移了集中点

空间缩小了
不再是无限的扩张
开启那沉寂已久的钥匙
是十年前失去的
感觉好像回来了
回到最初的最初

甜酸苦辣
失去了辩解的欲望
回味。回味
追求的不普遍
最初的遥不可及
最终的平淡无奇

或许没有承担后果的勇气
窃窃私语徘徊在耳边
风向急转弯
原来一路上都忽略了那毫不起眼的分叉路口
失去的时间没有回来的空洞
只想找回失去的感觉

DUMB

2010-03-17T12:05:00.000-07:00

It's time, when I am dumb
I have something to say
But no voice out
I try to tell
But thy heard nothing

This time, the silence fill up the space
Listening to the noisier around
I bet, thy are talking to me
I know, but I am dumb
Forgive me, or thy wouldn't be like it

Dreaming, thinking
Make up my mind
Entangled thread though
I prefer dumb
But not this time~

贺年卡

2010-02-18T20:51:00.000-08:00

一张简单的贺年卡
一句句由衷的祝福
好似不起眼的问候
就是所谓的寒暄问暖
胜过那千言万语

好多年没有收到贺年卡了
重温旧时的贺语
喜欢贴着邮票的封套
慢慢揭开属于我的祝福
原来这就是幸福

不一样的新年

2010-02-17T07:32:00.000-08:00

这个新年，
过得比以往的不一样，
多了一份感动，
十年的光阴，
说唱不长，
说短不短。

一路走来，
少了那熟悉的背影，
少了那温暖的打闹，
总觉得少了些什么，
十年后再次回到原点，
不变的是当年情。

当初的不可能已不再，
回到那纯纯的牵扯，
时间为每个人的经历作了见证，
是开心的相聚，
杀那间扰起的平静，
在欢笑中缓缓地退去。

这一刻的画面，
是梦里常出现的，
能触到的感觉真得很不错，
哪怕幸福都是短暂的，
只要曾经拥有，
那是永恒的绳索。

我不哭

2010-02-04T20:02:00.000-08:00

眼泪一滴一滴地落下，感觉一上一下地徘徊着。

哭，是心一层一层剥开的时候，让泪带着痛流逝在摸不着的深谷底。

很喜欢，哭的感觉。

发觉了，原来泪无时无刻地在流着。

听一首感触的歌曲，看一部扣人心弦的剧情，想着无知的错，忏悔无助的懦弱，思恋在空中，泪不知不觉地又开始了。

泪，也许就在无助的时候，唯一的安慰。

泪的背后，都有着独一无二的故事。

原来会哭真得很不错，想哭而哭不出，感觉就像紧绷的绳，随时都有断的可能。

你爱哭吗？

不哭，是因为坚强吗？

不然，连哭都没有勇气，只是不想承认自己的脆弱。

泪，不是同情，是鼓励。

哭，不是期待援手。

哭，只是想告诉自己是时候站出来，完成那不可能。

也许有那么一天，你哭了。

也许有这么一天，我不哭了。

回忆录

2010-02-04T19:06:00.000-08:00

那是过去的画面
曾经的我活在过去的影子里
总想着种种原因
安慰还是借口
都不重要了
因为机会都只是那么的一次

好奇埋藏在心底
没有反驳的欲望
即使知道了也无所谓了
在雾中寻找痕迹
眼里的模糊
清晰的只是脑袋的阴影

现在的秘密显然还是个谜
即若说淡化
其实已放下
也许已经没有所谓的必要
回忆录的章页
是终点的结束起点的开始

DROWNING

2010-01-20T18:28:00.000-08:00

I am drowning~in my dreams when I am too sick~with reality.Every corner of my thoughts has been end up with choking.There is no way for the longer journey.Turn around and searching for a lovely face, I found nothing.I am drowning~a way to escape from the sucks around me.Observing the front scene with my eyes,I am drowning in troubles.The mist shrouded my mind~I can't even get a single idea;the mist in my heart~I can't even feel anything.If somebody can hold my hand,guide the journey of mine.Even close my eyes,the beautiful scenery in my heart has never gone away.I am drowning~I can choose to-do and not-to-do when I am the master of my dreams.Even if I have no priority to make anyone say yes with every single claim of mine,at least make it as simplest as nothing.I am drowning~if I am that brave to shout out everything,I wish to let you know that I have no attempt to convince you with my promises.I am just too weak.I am drowning~in the past,pure and innocent.

没什么的，只是累了...

2010-01-13T05:04:00.000-08:00

好的起端~ 并不代表会有好的结尾
最近的我~ 真的累了
累得不知所措~ 开始彷徨下一刻到底会有何转变
出乎意料只是借口~ 原来都已潜伏着
蔓延着~ 失去了所谓的依赖
或许错不在它~ 只是脆弱的心无从接受
紧绷的绳~ 是放松的时候
气球都有泄气的时候~ 毅力又岂能无日无夜地呆着
总是表现得无所谓~ 其实在乎得无法自我
忽略并不难~ 只是真的想忽略吗
还是有更好的办法呢~ 单纯还是天真
只想对我说~ 你什么也不需做
很想远离自己~ 一个无人的空间
做错了就连弥补的资格都没有~
悲剧落幕了~ 流过的泪留下难以磨灭的痕迹
一个笑声回荡在空中~ 瞬间消失得无影无踪
原本的空白~ 永远的空白

NEVER SAY NEVER

2009-12-05T01:56:00.000-08:00

Never say never
When you never try
Purchase every single chance
With your sincerity
You never know
A shining star is waiting for you

Never say never
When your world fall into dark
The lights in hand never gone
If you can make it works
It's your heart blinding the eyes
If you tearing it into pieces

Never say never
When you miss a thing
If you are catching my mind
I am gonna make you smile
Drowning in the bubbles that I blow for you
Tell me what color do you see

Please if you can choose
Never say never

十字路口

2009-11-26T02:43:00.000-08:00

现实终究存在逃避是借口
十字路口的我该何去何从
时间在催促是否提醒着
弥漫的雾里即使看不透
仓促的决定草草了事

呐喊心中的不适怜惜昔日的情怀
或许停留遥遥无期的抉择
眉间的线条紧紧地思索着
十字路口的尽头只要勇敢地前进一步

十字路口不过是这样
放弃了抉择选择了命运
至少空白是美好的无限的伸展
前进了就没有退路当一切还在十字路口中

THANKS FOR THE MEMORY

2009-11-18T12:39:00.000-08:00

A simple thanks
Not enough to express
The smile in heart
Unable to convey

Let the path guide the way
Something inside
My strong feeling tell everything
None a single word to stand for

Tell me if I am not good enough
Just an innocent act
If I have insult the purpose
If I have break the expectations

My days become so beautiful
Wonderful and nice that I never dream of
Because of you
My friends

Wanna share with you
I don't even know if it's worth for you
If I have another day
Believe me that I will make it different

1711~
When I am on the ship
1811~
When waiting for the end of the earth

WHAT LIFE IS THE LIFE

2009-11-10T02:23:00.000-08:00

You bring me up
You bring me down
Never disappear from my sight
I wish to abandon you
But I couldn't
I wish to appreciate you
But no way got to the way

I wonder what's your secret
Such power to grow
We have joy and we have fun
Sometimes you are just naughty
Make me laugh and make me cry
Complicated don't know why
I hope I could know

You are such loyal
I just could say yes to you
You mean nothing to the crowd
You mean something to me
Set me free
I can stay with you
When you just give me lives

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN

2009-11-04T10:18:00.000-08:00

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be a traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing by
Had worn them just about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

By Robert Frost

THE FIRST TIME WHEN I FALL IN LOVE

2009-11-04T10:14:00.000-08:00

Oh, my dear…

Someday I met you from somewhere

And everything made the difference

You changed my life

From the dull to the bright

When the first time you walk in my life

Still remember the first time when I saw you

You are such lovely and cute

Impression hardly printed in my mind

I wish to know you more

And tell you that you catch my sight

My eyes couldn’t leave from the path you stay

You told me everything about yourself

Wishing that we could be close

As sweet as a couple that I never had

Perhaps is time to let you know

I couldn’t live without you

I shall telling this with a sigh

The more we stay side by side

The more you tell me what I wish to

Sorry I couldn’t remember all

And the breath fog up the glass

I couldn’t see you clearly

My world lost the directions

I start to cry

I start to beg

Finding the angel to heal me

You told me

Fear and disappointed are not the way

You promised me that you will save me from the hell

I have a trust in you

I believe with every single word of you

Hoping that you still with me till the end

When you exist in my life

Forgive my rudeness on you

I will change to the better way

Stay in my heart

Let me feel your spirit

Frequency interfere

The first time when I fall in love

对与错

2009-10-27T08:33:00.000-07:00

分不清
什么是对
什么是错

所谓的定义都是人造的
没有命中注定
没有自然而然
我说对就是对
我说错就是错
是这样吗

茫然寻找着借口
期望从错中领悟
开发观点
为正确奋斗
也许没有界限
只是一字之差

争辩着
满足了
无法为过错低头
知道了
承认了
盼望无言胜自尊

埋怨着冲动的错
自责无知的论点
纠正于平衡点上
醒悟自觉的过失
刀锋一样的词
我错了

对与错
真的那么重要吗

想

2009-10-22T00:51:00.000-07:00

我想

若我是男生
就不会有女生的烦恼

我想

若我是女生
就不会有男生的烦恼

我想

若我不是人类
就不会有烦恼？

JUST TOO MUCH JUST NOT ENOUGH

2009-10-22T00:27:00.000-07:00

There's a time when I sing along
Jump over the sea
Staring through the crowd
I lost my mind
Strong feeling make me dumb
None a single word to express
Teasing make the sense
You are wrong
Just too much

There's a time when I look around
Running through the path
Catching every single picture
I wish to tell
Nobody stand by me
It's a poison in hand
Something pull inside
Something push me out
Just not enough

It's a beginning
Till the end

世界多美好

2009-10-14T22:53:00.000-07:00

栖息于阴暗的角落
只觉得牵扯着的伤口
开始发炎
不管了放手了
希望减轻那丝丝的痛

人为何会心痛
原来结束了
可是那浓浓的感觉在回味
也许不需要

醒不了
张开惺忪的睡眼
看看这世界
渺小的是自我
无际的是世界

一直低头走着
眼里是我的步伐
抬起头望望天
云在飞翔
原来世界多美好

原点

2009-10-12T01:03:00.000-07:00

风在呼啸
仿佛提醒着
远方缠绵的思念
停留在原点
等待回来的那一刻

烙印的是忘不了
隐隐约约
脸上单纯的微笑
脑海漂浮在原点
编制着零碎的故事

还记得
泥巴里赤裸的十指
是小时候的味道
忘了什么是烦恼
回到了原点

冰冷的氧气
透过烫热的身躯
回回荡荡
刺痛了忍受着
期待我们的原点

地球自转公转
分针秒针宁静的竞赛
生活的起起落落
错了
就无法再重来

寻找当初那甜甜的原点...

动力

2009-10-03T09:48:00.000-07:00

若燃油能给我动力
若燃烧着的是我的热忱

夜的宁静再次唤醒了沉睡的我
尝试沉醉在那柔软的草丛中
望着高挂在夜空的明月
圆圆的月
金黄色的轮廓
照亮了大地
也照亮了我的心

探测着是无法释怀的解
开始松了
慢慢地攀爬进黑暗中
无奈的叹气声
急促地呻吟着
为空虚的夜晚哀悼

眼里满满的文字
双唇无力地抖动
耳里倾听着响亮的心声
脑子一片空白
可惜
无从的安慰
琅琅上口

站在原处
一步一步消失在眼前
手指一点一滴
数着轻盈的沙尘
爱上了夜的景
增添了生活写照
不期待黎明的降临
毁了艳丽动人的今晚

害怕
漫无目的的脚步声
穿梭在人群中
失去了自由
是我
捆绑着双手
是我
放弃了自由

若简单就是动力
若一切从现在开始

他们都说

2009-09-27T06:03:00.000-07:00

他们都说我很坚强...

面对没兴趣的事物，是责任克服了负担，说服那沉重的憎恨。也许只是伪装着那百般的不愿，选择了就没有后悔的理由。总是埋怨着当初错的决定，只想提醒，从前的从前，惩罚自我的矛盾。心在挣扎，向左走向右走，杂乱的思绪，眼泪留下了痕迹...

他们并不知道，泪水划过的天空，是彩虹一路向北走。崎岖不堪的道路，是困难的开始。跌倒后的伤口，总期待时间是最好的解药。当毫无目的地前进，错了还是得继续时，糊涂地走着走着。麻醉了，后退着，迷失自我。放弃不是我想要的，勉强不是我想要的，忘了怎么说我很坚强...

没有人知道，没有人理解，没有人相信...

THE MISS THAT HAD BEEN FORGOTTEN

2009-09-17T19:45:00.000-07:00

When the time remind me to the miss...

Almost a month been in campus and didn't met my family. I thought there is time when I can adapt the separation with my family. I thought I enjoy my campus life. But I'm totally wrong. Raya break just around the corner. I wonder why I have to wait for one more day before heading to my sweet sweet home. The miss start to grow up greater and greater. Picturing in my mind. I lose to myself.

Last time when i went back to my hometown because of H1N1, there is a feeling drag me back to campus. I miss campus?! Maybe but just when there is a freedom activate my cell. I wanna run away from the troubles. I wanna throw away the headache. I wanna hittin the wall...clarify the way...

I still remember you deep in my heart. I never forget the way when you talk to me. Every act of you hardly printed on the screen. There is no time to sweep away. My dearest family...I just forgot since when we are never gather together completely. Pahang...Kuala Lumpur...Singapore...Penang...We are just far far apart from each other. We are busying with our own stuff. We are following the progress in life.When the calling try to get back to the starting point, I know nothing is changing. Surrounding is developing when my
world still be the same.

I never forget the past, present and even the future. Waiting for the moment as the first time when i saw you....

ANSWERS

2009-09-14T08:46:00.000-07:00

I wish to stay in my own world
With nobody cares
When I can feel the fresh air around
Lost in my mind
You never know

I wish to forget the memories
Leaving the past behind
With no hurts
Flying to the future
You never know

I wish to know the answers
When the question marks fill my mind
Everything in hand
Clear away the fog glass
You never know

I wish to get the direction
To my home
The bird singing in the sky
Freedom is the enemy
You never know

I wish to find the solutions
Troubles around
Choosing the best way
If I could hold my promise
You never know

I wish to fill the empty space
Full with hope
Bring the happiness in life
Breathless with the miracle
You never know

I wish to adapt the changing
In difficulty
Everything is unreal
Thinking all the wrong way
You never know

I wish to tell the truth
Word by word
Sentence by sentence
Feeling never lie
You never know

I wish to drown in dreams
When everything is so beautiful
God guide my way
Life is once
You never know

If there is snowing in the summer....

I'm Busy> I'm Away> I'm Not Around

2009-09-11T19:39:00.000-07:00

Can I just stay away?
Do you know where should I stay?

Can I just forget about it?
Do you know what inside it?

Can I know why?
Do you willing to tell me the answer?

Can I just do what I want?
Do you know what I want?

Can I just get over it?
Do you know the best way?

Can I just fill in the blank?
Do you know how to fill?

Can I just leave it forever?
Do you sense the changing?

Can I express it in proper way?
Do you know the feeling?

Can I know the mind structure?
Do you think about it?

I'm thinking of if I'm busy I'm away I'm not around...

ANOTHER DAY

2009-09-10T00:35:00.000-07:00

Looking through the eyes
It's never a lie
I'm speaking
But it's voice of someone else
Try to convince that everything is true
I am gonna run away
Around the corner
Searching the footprint that lost

Twinkling stars smiling at the sky
Tell me the road are everywhere
Dreary forsaken sea
Wave dancing the steps
Tell me wonderful world are just in sight
Cherish the imperfection
Something remain
Tell me the truth is cruel

Crying my way home
Take away my fear
Deep inside
Wishing everything is alright
Tears drive my thinking
Ropes to the end
Waiting for the day comes
You never know
The time is short

COUNTING 1 2 3

2009-09-07T02:57:00.000-07:00

The sun is shining my back
Outside the window
Morning sing
Reminding my mind from dream
The dream just a dream
Come to the life where I am staying now

Fresh air fill my body
Everything is new
Feeling my heart beat
Is still dreaming
Picture flashing with shadow
Is still live in the past
I am not growing

Counting 1 2 3
Life is just simple
What so complicated
Suffer the spirit over
Get the better way
To the heaven with angel

Be with you
The moment that never gone
When smiling and laughing fill the space
Puzzle memories
Sense goes right or wrong
Feeling gonna be pain

Dream can be complicated
Life can be simple
Nothing so trouble
The phrase never goes true
Hidden in the darkness
Leave me alone with no worries
With world only you and me

Counting 1 2 3
Life is just simple
What so complicated
Suffer the spirit over
Get the better way
To the heaven with angel

当初

2009-08-21T04:40:00.000-07:00

当初的我们已经不在了，现在的陌生已经无法以言语形容。回到过去的童年，那是一段忘不了的情，改变了我人生的道路。原本的我根本不应该在这儿，是那曙光，引导了迷失方向的我。

还历历在目的是当初的相遇，联系着那茫然的心。茫茫人海中，相遇是缘分，相识是命中注定。也许是玩弄的心把彼此毫不相干的感觉融入了，选择了接受，相处不过是这样。打打闹闹的日子已不再，怀念着每一刻的相处，原来那是最美好的。分享每一分每一秒，是我不会珍惜，是我放弃了记忆。时间前进着，改变了一切，我们的心也变了。

曾经尝试拉近心的距离，曾经为一切的一切努力，是环境的阻止，失败了。原来地球并不大，只是彼此的空间在不停地扩张，生活圈不再是你我他。记忆开始模糊，难道就这样继续下去吗？不懂的是隐藏着的心，开始腐化。

原来世上的事物都有距离，原来联系着的情都有空洞的时候，原来猜疑不是解决的方法，原来我们还是可以回到从前...

Moody

2009-07-09T06:29:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling not well. Suddenly...so stress to get such feeling. I'm trying not to cry. I'm trying to share the feeling. But I can't even do so. Is it still in holiday mood? Not get ready yet? I don't know...try hard to find a reason. Just stay alone and think deeply. I found that something is gone. Or maybe can't state as gone. It just goes to an end. Maybe is good for me. It is not the first time to get such feeling...but second time. I know is second time. Since when...when to start...when to end....that not what I care for. But it is not important anymore. I knew is my fault. What to do....then just keep it. Try not to think too much. Everything will just goes to its initial point. Nothing is so mean in life. I knew it. That's because I not dare to step on it. Disappointed is a simple word. But once disappointed...the heart is breaking. I can hear the sound from my heart. But I can't express it well...

GONE

2009-07-08T02:45:00.000-07:00

While the world keep changing...I still be the same. Still the one who can't ever proceed through its way. Just can't even do a little more than which people called ability. We should act due to our ability. This is the old phase. Is it really so? When there is a feeling tell you...you can't do it....just give up. Maybe the heart still making wish. Just find out maybe its not true. But I strongly believe that each fact happen when we are not realize how is it happen. Naturally...only the reason I can give. At that moment, we able to heal the condition. I'm trying my best now. But still not work at all. Hard to hand over it. Just stay away...keep a distance....The feeling is gone. I don't know how to get it back. Or I never own it? Live in a complete fog life. I don't know why. When asking can I.....I hope the answer is...yes I do. Show me the smile...means I get it. No response....then burns me up. Let the past be the past. Everything is new for me now. I'm feeling strange. I'm feeling fresh. Start with another new life. Something gone. Nothing will just stop and waiting for you....

一个人

2009-07-01T03:37:00.000-07:00

一个人的日子，也许是孤单。

发现了原来一个人的空间是自由的，有限的快乐，有限的悲伤，有限的想法，有限的承担，有限的烦恼，有限的约束，至少一切都是有限的。喜欢上了一个人的日子，原来不过是这样...

天下之大，想要找一处完全属于自己的空洞，发觉那只不过是幻想的一种层次。也许只有在梦中，觅寻着自我的痕迹，才发现走过的路，不止一双脚印，原来一路上的我都有人陪伴着。是朋友是敌人，迷惘了...分享着生活的点滴。

曾经听过的一个人旅行，离开那熟悉的环境，到远方的角落，环绕着的是陌生。无人知晓的我，好像到了一个不属于自己的世界，是新生活...还是一种挑战...很想就这样抛开现实的缠绕，是梦的开始，只是缺乏了勇气，无法为自己那可怜的自尊铺一道理想的桥梁。就是那无法实现的梦想，鼓励着存在的意义。

想过无法面对的是世界丑陋的一面，其实无法面对的是自己。没有永远到达不了的天堂，只是没有踏出地狱的信心。不是不能，只是不想。在实践每一个不可能时，在乎的并非力量的根源，只是追根究底的都是我一个人的事。在竞争中，总想着茁壮地冲出每一道墙，为胜利喝彩，看透失败。承受结果的心，该改变还是该接受，也许自己的思绪也无法辩解内心深处的筋。不了解的是我，不同的是因，不想的是果。只是又有谁可以毫无保留地敞开胸怀，为过去，为现在，为将来，为一切的一切说不呢...

选择了一个人的日子，没有负担，没有猜疑，没有伤害，没有...选择了一个回不到的过去，曾经以为被了解了，也许根本不想去想，不是我放弃了，只是原来都是误会。以为是真正地开始，其实是结束的时候。成长的过程，忽略了并不表示不存在，只是藏匿在某处。是天时地利人和，是要在乎的时候...

夜的秘密

2009-06-05T02:50:00.000-07:00

那是个寂寞的夜晚。尽管紧闭着双眼，可那忐忑的心，好像失了魂似的。倾听着窗外的嘀嗒声，是雨...轻轻地打在窗沿上。带着那沉重的脚步，走在湿漉漉的街道。手里的伞，颤抖着，是风...是寒...也许只是...望着地上向前倾的影子，那是路灯站着的位子。影子...是灯光的照射，发现了它的踪影。黑暗中，它存在，只是隐藏着。是它，永远的伙伴，有着离不开的理由。欢乐或悲伤，孤独的我其实并不孤独。或许是夜的宁静，或许是空虚的心，那迎面的秋风，显得特别寒冷。湖畔前，站着一个熟悉的背影。是梦里的她，还记得那薰衣草的味道，是随风飘扬的长发，扑鼻而来。是这忘不了的味道，领导着我，走向这没尽头的路。茫茫的雾气，模糊了。也许这是一场梦，但有着这样的决心，不期望醒来的那一刻。活在充满谎言的世界，逃离那弥漫着浓浓的仇。欺骗，是美丽的误会，思绪的缠绕，那是虚幻无实所带来的感觉。缓慢地步行，紧靠着，是躯体。可那两颗心的距离，好似两旁的景象，越离越远。后悔了，后悔没珍惜那个拥抱着幸福的当初。混乱了，混乱那糟透无知的童话，那是不可能到达的极端。破晓的日出，那是唯一的记忆，是结束...是开始...眼前的红球，悄悄地升起，是温的。望着离去的影子，心是昨夜的呼喊，刺痛那忘不了的夜。等待昨夜的到来，等待夜的秘密...

镜子里的我

2009-05-25T21:55:00.001-07:00

镜子里的我
不是我

看着镜子里的我
那张脸孔
虚伪的外壳
保护着
内心的沉寂

无声的呼吸
夜的风
泪干了
小丑的笑
淌着血的心
黑暗的夜空
是点点的星
陪伴着那无助的情

残酷的旅程
无知的伴
心在感受着
世界
现实的眼
是虚伪
只是错过了

秋的叶
风的咆哮
自由的风筝
飘扬着
只是没了方向
被牵着的线
回到了原点

过去的痛
是孔
无底的洞
记忆里的影子
是清晰
是模糊
那是回不去的从前

天气预报
烈日的阳
离开的背影
眼前的我
是无情的雨
夺走了幸福
雨后的彩虹
是走向天堂的桥

帆
无际的海洋
指南针
该往哪里走
无忧无虑
只是暴风雨的前夕
毁了梦的开始

时针逆向转
黎明的夕阳
傍晚的日出
夏的雪
冬的阳
历史的记载
若可以改变

镜子里的我
不是我

LEARNING

2009-04-27T03:20:00.000-07:00

Learning...we are learning everyday
In many area, consciously or unconsciously
I'm learning to forget something
Something unwillingly...something around me
Try to get off the uncertainty... try to live in my way
I'm learning to live happily...without any trouble
I'm learning to conquer the suck in life...get the freedom
I'm learning to accept the facts...no matter how hard is it
I'm learning to behave properly...as a girl
I'm learning to respect...make people feel comfortable with my way
I'm learning to control the heart...don't be too emotional
I'm learning to be simple...not complicated
Learning...the direction of life...

WAITING FOR YESTERDAY

2009-04-26T22:44:00.000-07:00

Many people asked me...what's mean with waiting for yesterday? Actually just a thinking...waiting for something that wouldn't come true. Thats the reality in life. We always wait for nothing. Although we might know that what we wish will never be what we hold. Thats the fact. Maybe we need some times to accommodate. Maybe we should change our mind. Maybe just let the time be the way to where shall we go. All about heart. Thinking is where our heart belong to. How we think, will reflect as how we feel. Maybe you will think that why so stupid? Why waiting for something that not belong to you? Thats the problem. Emotion is very hard to be controlled. Then there is a dream. Hope that one day then everything become the part of your life. Because of dream...our life become more interesting. Because of dream...we can proceed our life in such a wonderful way. Because our heart always full of dreams...

FINALLY

2009-04-20T22:52:00.000-07:00

Finally finished my 1st year life here! The moment that I waiting for...but not as expected. Nevermind la...everything is over. Har...one year already? Wow...damn fast. Still fresh here. Think back....really can't remember what I had done for the past year. Still in memory, the 1st day when I step in USM ENGINEERING CAMPUS...new place, new study,new friends.... everything is strange for me. Thought that I can't accommodate with such conditions. For me at least, fear to accept new things...fear with alien. However, actually not such bad as I think. Everything is fine here. Friends...study...I can achieve it. So nice...know a lot of new friends. Make me a support here since I not really enjoy campus life. Already familiar with the life here. Should be...still 3 years to stay in this campus...with my lovely friends and books...haha. 3 years...like so long. Not really actually...will tick away unconsciously. Hope that time can stop here...just here. So relax...no stress...what I can observe now is pretty things. How a beautiful world....!! Dream can la...reality where got such thing want...haha. But dreaming also one of the way to get out of the stupid in reality...not bad...should dream more...2 months wouldn't be here lo. Erm...is good for me? Or what? Homing...sure good. But still haven't plan how to pass this 2 months free life. Working...lazy? Touring...go where? Really no idea. Just let time be the guide to where should I heading to. Don't want think too much. Just empty my mind...at least for this moment. My friends here...will miss you all. 2 months...just like a flash...keep in touch ya...

COMPLICATED

2009-04-16T01:51:00.000-07:00

What's the feeling now? Don't know...just complicated can explain what actually i feel now. Something inside....something willingly or unwillingly,cant differentiate anymore. I want to shout out my thinking,but no words...I want to state clearly what actually inside it, but nothing.Like got something,but nothing.Hope that somebody come across and tell me what am I need to do now. Lost the direction, lost in mind...lost everything. Empty...

与苍蝇有个约会

2009-03-29T18:40:00.000-07:00

讨厌的家伙
请远离我

苍蝇啊苍蝇
明知道自己碍眼
为何还要出现在我眼前

苍蝇啊苍蝇
明知道不受欢迎
为何还要不请自来

苍蝇啊苍蝇
明知道自己肮脏
为何还要靠近我

苍蝇啊苍蝇
明知道我很忙
为何还要来打扰

苍蝇啊苍蝇
为何这么多地方不去
偏偏要来usm

哭了

2009-03-27T08:51:00.000-07:00

因为在意
我哭了

因为心痛
我哭了

因为自责
我哭了

因为压力
我哭了

因为想念
我哭了

因为担心
我哭了

因为忽略
我哭了

因为伤害
我哭了

因为感觉
我哭了

我哭了...

JUST FOR YOU

2009-03-26T10:19:00.000-07:00

Recently dream of you
Suddenly think of your face
Your past
I never forget
Still remember the moment with you
When I always be around you
Like a shadow
Follow you
Wherever you go
Still remember your fierce
Blame me when I stir up your anger
But I know
I know you are care about me
You don't know how to express it
You have the heart
I know
When you are side of me
I never appreciate your good
I never treat you in concern way
I never...
Always make you angry
Always said something that hurt you
Always ...
But you never care about it
Still be there
Side of me
I felt so sorry
Please forgive my rudeness
Please forgive me
But I know everything is late
You wouldn't be around me anymore
I don't know where are you now
I don't know what are you doing now
I never know
Nobody know
Still remember 5 years ago
When you leave me
I know one day then you will leave me
But I don't know why such a sudden
You didn't tell me anything
I know you also not willingly to leave me
But no choice
Regret for everything that i had been done for you
Too late
Time is over
Wouldn't reverse
If god give me a chance
I hope you will know
That I love you so much
I never tell you
Not because I don't
Just I keep it in heart
I hope you can hear it
I love you

也许

2009-03-25T23:07:00.000-07:00

最近想多了，开始累了，不想了，因为真的累了...心开始感觉了，一切变了，变得不一样了。没有了方向，就好像没有了自己，开始觉得一切都不以为然。每个人心里都有一个红绿灯。该停就停，该前进就前进。生活就在你的掌控中，一切都是理所当然。只是时机不对，被控制的心乱，担心着，不想的，真的累了。想着想着，矛盾了，挣扎了，也许并不是这样。不想冲动，因为害怕受伤。不想争取，因为那并不是我想要的。不想勉强，因为被逼的感觉并不好受。不想做决定，因为害怕后悔。也许这样就好，也许该停了，也许并不是这么糟，也许想太多了，只是不想接受。

也许没有想
只是心累了

也许没什么
只是错觉

也许该接受
只是期待着

也许没有人理解
只是不想改变

JOKE...not just a JOKE-2

2009-03-25T21:08:00.000-07:00

When you are seriously with someone, but he/she say:"Haha...just kidding!" At that moment, you can't do anything. At last just keep everything inside...inside your heart. Don't show everything on your face, but express in different way. When someone make a joke, but over the level set...the people involve might angry and no more excuse there. Then he/she say:"hey, this a joke. Kidding around only." This is definitely same with a murderer kill the people. Afterwards, just say:" sorry, I shouldn't murder you."However, everything happen already. Cannot go back to the initial point. Just as a needle, with its head and tail. When the joke just a joke, its like the head of needle, wouldn't hurt. Just feel nothing. But when the joke not just a joke, then the hurt in heart will be forever. Never meet its end point. I like joking with people. Feel so sorry if people don't agree with my joke way. Just a joke. Don't take it in serious way.

JOKE...not just a JOKE

2009-03-25T21:07:00.000-07:00

Joke...bring the happiness to the people surrounding. When a joke not just a joke...then the stressing begin. Joke have its limitation. Don't ever over the limit. If so...then the joke will make something different. The victim don't mind, is because it is just a joke. When uncomfortable condition growing...the joke not just a pure joke. Something seriously happen. Don't make the same joke over a long long time. Everything has its due date. Same with joke. Joke is good...but when side effect come across...negatively...what should be done? Make a joke wisely. Think first before do. Haha...don't be too serious...

Suddenly

2009-03-17T19:50:00.000-07:00

What I want in life actually? This question suddently bear in my mind. Yup...what I want? Each people surrouding may think ... you are smart and clever. Wow...please la...not that I want. Not that I think. What I express just honestly from my heart...not fake want. I just a normal want. I just hope that everyone around me be honest...just don't pretend in front of me. I just want true surrouding. Maybe I'm weak in communication. I don't know how to be a good talker. So most of the time better be silent. Is it too quiet? I just keep everything in my heart. Haha. Well...someone said I'm so secretive. I admit. I just don't know how to express my feeling well. Actually I'm very simple...just not as complicated as you think. Protective...just fear to get hurt. Maybe too sensitive with peolple around...maybe sometimes think too much...maybe trouble there...maybe is time to change...how to get myself up? Everyone have their own problem...you will know the solution better...just you don't know how to apply it. You know what you want actually...just you don't know how to achieve it. Maybe think and do is 2 different things. We know...just hard to take action. Is it?

BAD MOOD

2009-02-26T21:42:00.000-08:00

Recently, in bad mood. Just can said I also don't know why. Maybe so tired...got a lot of things to do. Annual Life Concert by Little Grass just came to an end. Yup...finally finished! Busying with such work, for me...still ok. At least better than study...test...This week...just slept for at most 5-6 hours a day. Wow...crazy! Others may think that this girl totally made of iron. Yup...maybe, haha. Then busy with wus 101. That really brought me in trouble.Wednesday, due date for sending our assignment...profail usahawan. When sending the profail usahawan, my file shown 7.56Mb. But then the requirement just allow 1.5Mb.Try to delete some photos...then 4Mb. What to do? I need to on duty for ANNUAL LIFE CONCERT. Then asking around for help. Finally...settled. Stupid wus...only difficulty us. This few days, something around me. My thinking, I can't control it, but still try my best to avoid it. I know something impossible, something wouldn't happen. When it come across, I know is time already. When everyting came to an limitation, what should I do? I prefer to treat it as my own problem. I don't like to let them know, I don't like such pity words. Because I am I. Maybe try to think simply, everything will be fine soon. Yaya, i hope one day then...no more complicated things. Everything just as we want...

FEELING

2009-02-17T03:09:00.000-08:00

What kind of feel? I never know...Many things,many words...I want to express.But when time comes,everything get ready,finally...mean nothing. What happen to me? Please pay more attention, please don't think too much ,please accept it,please look forward,please....already late. I don't know what i want. I don't know is it right or wrong. I don't know what actually in my mind. I don't know...don't understand...don't want such life...really not what I want. My real thinking, my real words...nobody would understand. So terrible, what happen to me? Maybe just let everything go through their way, although not really my dream one. Everyone seems good, have their own life,their own dream,their own thinking. They always know what they should do, what they should be.But I can't. Is my own problem. How a complicated feeling...hope that someone can tell me, tell me what should i do, tell me the right way.When time growing, many things need to be considered. Look around, different surrounding, different thinking, different way,different feeling...everything different.Is it just a simple life? Is it too much thinking? Is it still need some time? Still at t-junction, which road should i heading to? Maybe one day then, I will know...