Moody

I'm feeling not well. Suddenly...so stress to get such feeling. I'm trying not to cry. I'm trying to share the feeling. But I can't even do so. Is it still in holiday mood? Not get ready yet? I don't know...try hard to find a reason. Just stay alone and think deeply. I found that something is gone. Or maybe can't state as gone. It just goes to an end. Maybe is good for me. It is not the first time to get such feeling...but second time. I know is second time. Since when...when to start...when to end....that not what I care for. But it is not important anymore. I knew is my fault. What to do....then just keep it. Try not to think too much. Everything will just goes to its initial point. Nothing is so mean in life. I knew it. That's because I not dare to step on it. Disappointed is a simple word. But once disappointed...the heart is breaking. I can hear the sound from my heart. But I can't express it well...

GONE

While the world keep changing...I still be the same. Still the one who can't ever proceed through its way. Just can't even do a little more than which people called ability. We should act due to our ability. This is the old phase. Is it really so? When there is a feeling tell you...you can't do it....just give up. Maybe the heart still making wish. Just find out maybe its not true. But I strongly believe that each fact happen when we are not realize how is it happen. Naturally...only the reason I can give. At that moment, we able to heal the condition. I'm trying my best now. But still not work at all. Hard to hand over it. Just stay away...keep a distance....The feeling is gone. I don't know how to get it back. Or I never own it? Live in a complete fog life. I don't know why. When asking can I.....I hope the answer is...yes I do. Show me the smile...means I get it. No response....then burns me up. Let the past be the past. Everything is new for me now. I'm feeling strange. I'm feeling fresh. Start with another new life. Something gone. Nothing will just stop and waiting for you....

一个人

一个人的日子，也许是孤单。

发现了原来一个人的空间是自由的，有限的快乐，有限的悲伤，有限的想法，有限的承担，有限的烦恼，有限的约束，至少一切都是有限的。喜欢上了一个人的日子，原来不过是这样...

天下之大，想要找一处完全属于自己的空洞，发觉那只不过是幻想的一种层次。也许只有在梦中，觅寻着自我的痕迹，才发现走过的路，不止一双脚印，原来一路上的我都有人陪伴着。是朋友是敌人，迷惘了...分享着生活的点滴。

曾经听过的一个人旅行，离开那熟悉的环境，到远方的角落，环绕着的是陌生。无人知晓的我，好像到了一个不属于自己的世界，是新生活...还是一种挑战...很想就这样抛开现实的缠绕，是梦的开始，只是缺乏了勇气，无法为自己那可怜的自尊铺一道理想的桥梁。就是那无法实现的梦想，鼓励着存在的意义。

想过无法面对的是世界丑陋的一面，其实无法面对的是自己。没有永远到达不了的天堂，只是没有踏出地狱的信心。不是不能，只是不想。在实践每一个不可能时，在乎的并非力量的根源，只是追根究底的都是我一个人的事。在竞争中，总想着茁壮地冲出每一道墙，为胜利喝彩，看透失败。承受结果的心，该改变还是该接受，也许自己的思绪也无法辩解内心深处的筋。不了解的是我，不同的是因，不想的是果。只是又有谁可以毫无保留地敞开胸怀，为过去，为现在，为将来，为一切的一切说不呢...

选择了一个人的日子，没有负担，没有猜疑，没有伤害，没有...选择了一个回不到的过去，曾经以为被了解了，也许根本不想去想，不是我放弃了，只是原来都是误会。以为是真正地开始，其实是结束的时候。成长的过程，忽略了并不表示不存在，只是藏匿在某处。是天时地利人和，是要在乎的时候...